W is now out

[upside_downer]

And my response:

Hi Smartcookie. Thanks for the response. In this sitch, I tried to avoid my old self. I got caught because I was suggesting we sever contact, but I'm not entirely sure if that is the best option. I have not initiated contact at all, so I think that is considered being dark, but does that include not getting together? My W does want to do things together. She feels like we have to start over in a way, to see how she feels. I guess that is my main point of confusion. Whether seeing each other once a week is OK or not?

Also, we did see my C together before the S. We went for 6 1 hour sessions. My W felt OK about going, but after 6 weeks, she felt she was not getting anything out of it because, in her words, we "were talking about the same things that we fought about, and the C was saying a lot of the same things in regards to your insecurities about me talking to guys on the phone, the amount of time we spend together, etc." We stopped going at that point.

Now, I'm still going independently, and asked W if she would go and she said she did not want to now. She did make a comment once that she has never gone by herself, and I would like to see her go because I sense that there are some issues, but I don't know if me suggesting she go is a good idea?

My main questions are whether seeing each other during this period of me being dark is OK?