W is now out

[upside_downer]

Hi Tink. In an effort to get some more responses since I seem unpopular here, I started another thread. Probably not the best thing to do, since I think it may add confusion. Anyway, here was what I wrote:

I think I did bad. W came over to pick up a couple more things she left behind (didn't expect it). While I tried to be out of the house, I returned and she was still here. I couldn't just keep going because I had groceries.

So I was unpacking. I didn't say much and was brief. My W takes that as me being upset (which has been true frequently in the past, but not always). So she asks if anything is wrong. I said no, just been running around a lot because I have a lot going on.

I remember my C suggesting we talk about no contact for a little while, or discuss how we will approach the S. I was telling myself not to say anything, but I couldn't resist and told the W we needed to discuss it "at some point." She replied and said, "yeah we can sit down and discuss sometime - when you're not busy" Key words there at the end. She recognized how busy I was! Anyway, this is the part where I slipped because I told her the "the C said we should discuss these things, but also that I need to GAL too." The W thought I meant see other people. I confirmed that is NOT what I meant. So no problem, but I then said "we don't have to be face to face, we can do it over the phone. I don't know if us getting together is the best thing since you decided that you needed the S" (I'm thinking that came across bad). She said we needed to do "baby steps" and go out sometime to dinner, or hang out to see how things go.

I'm thinking it has only been a week and I felt so good doing everything right, but I feel like I jumped the gun to put pressure on the W and tell her that I think we need space and all my DB techniques. When she argued that not seeing each other won't really improve things (because we need to see how things go when we are together), I started to backpedal. I think she saw my frustration (which was with myself and not her, but she took it otherwise I think). So, we kind of left off where we always leave off on this stalemate. Made me feel like nothing changed. I had plans to go that I was late for, and I left without really saying a formal goodbye. I just got in my car while she was getting in hers and I drove off.

How bad did I screw that situation up?