Hello sh- Congratulation on your new home. I hope you are handy when it comes to making minor repairs. I have never lived in an older place just for that reason.
I am sure your H is curious about your new place...invite him over if you feel comfortable about it.
You did the right thing by telling him he can come and get his things if he wants them. Why should you have to take his stuff to his mom's?
I hope your S had a wonderful birthday. Oh how I miss my kids being little...enjoy them. They are so much fun...and so much work...but worth it. Count your blessings.
SH Glad you are all adjusting to your new place Nice also that H is taking interest in the boys and is helping financially you sound strong hopefully more will be revealed peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Oh peace! I'm back to being stuck and unsure of what I want to do! So much for strong.
H went to dinner with us for S6's birthday. (First time since his birthday last year.) Dinner was good - we talked about work stuff and mutual friends, he asked about the kids, he joked a bit, we laughed. It was all so painfully normal.
It made me miss him - being with someone, having someone to talk to and eat with, but most of all, I miss being a family.
He spends so little time with the boys that he asked me about their personalities. About S2, I said "He HAS to have his way - sound familiar?" (meaning H) - he grunted in agreement. About S6, I said "He's extremely tolerant and patient - just like his mama" - again he grunted in agreement.
H didn't come by my new place like I thought he would. I haven't invited him yet.
He's still with ogre, but apparently she's unhappy with how much he's been going out (almost every night) so he's been going home earlier.
I'm thinking I really need to put an end to this cycle. No matter how much I GAL and have a PMA, hoping for a positive outcome for my M means I'm waiting for him to come home. I don't want to spend my life waiting anymore. But then I also have been reminding myself to be patient and go for what I want - and I remember someone posting the story about being 5 minutes away from your miracle.
How far am I willing to go, what am I willing to do to get what I want? I've even been considering playing the role of OW but not sure I can lower myself to that level, IF the opportunity ever arose. Will maybe start a thread on the topic.
Upside, thanks for reminding me to count my blessings. I know I have many. Right now, I just can't stop focusing on the one blessing I'm missing.
I want some insight on what H is going through, but then again I know it doesn't necessarily apply to my H. And when I start thinking it doesn't apply to him, I think I'm delusional and just need to get this D over and done with and move on.
So lost again! Need to get back on track. Just don't know which track I want to get on this time!
SH, I was thinking about you the other day. I think may be you know it's time when you see H mostly as "father of the kdis" rather than "husband". Do you long for a family with him? Or do you just want the "family" feeling? If later, then may be you have moved on.
I'm thinking I really need to put an end to this cycle. No matter how much I GAL and have a PMA, hoping for a positive outcome for my M means I'm waiting for him to come home. I don't want to spend my life waiting anymore. But then I also have been reminding myself to be patient and go for what I want - and I remember someone posting the story about being 5 minutes away from your miracle.
You are in your own place now and you are moving forward. Not saying that your H won't ever come home but you need to get the idea out of your head. If you accept that the M that you had is gone can you still leave the future open to whatever possibities may come? Quit trying to figure out what your H is going through and just accept he isn't emotionally available to be the H you need him to be...it doesn't even sound like he is able be the BF the orge needs him to be.
Keep moving forward enjoying your life and the answers will come.
SH I think it is positive that you and H shared a good night together and he is more interested in boys I think we need to focus all our energy well 90% on ourselves what can we do to pull our selves up affirmations work well new friends, exercise meditation prayer sleep rest play then spend 10% into the R, a nice talk, a thank you for something then 90% back on us when we keep replenishing us, we have more to give kids you will get your center back..It has nothing to do with them we get confused and think it does..that is an illusion they could never make us happy anyway..only we could this has to be first..then only a R will work anyway Just my opinion! peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
OC: Shoot! Better prepare a story for your H about the strange woman calling your neighbor/H's co-worker! I tried calling you back several times - first time I got a housekeeper and the 2nd time, I got the guy who is living in your old apartment and works with your H! Sorry - I don't have your new number! Can you email it to me? I'm not sure if you still check the email address I have for you... Neighbor said he will tell your H I'm looking for you but I politely asked him not to bother him! Ugh...
2 years of this and I still feel like I'm in the midst of this cr@p instead of leaps and bounds from where I should be. (At least for this weekend.)
Maybe because it's father's day weekend?
I still constantly think about my sitch and wonder how it will turn out. My compassion for H is definitely there, but I'm also tired of making excuses for his poor behavior and actions. I'm having trouble getting over his stupidity for the kind of girl he's with. H is such a cliche.
I've been asking myself if H is really the person I want to be with and lately, the answer is always NO. Maybe I can't get over the idea of who H used to be and the dreams I had for our family. I am actually embarrassed to call the person he is today my H.
I don't doubt he suffered/is suffering from some sort of crisis, but after so long with no signs of sorting himself out, maybe this is the new H. Maybe he will never reach his full potential. It's sad, but it happens.
I brought D up to MIL last week. Staying true to their family's ways, MIL avoided the topic and made herself busy.
Upside and peace: I had a pseudo house-warming by celebrating S's birthday at our new home with friends. I would have loved for you to have joined us as well.
Last week, a clairvoyant told me that I lack self-love. My dad often says I sell myself short. Guess that's what I need to be working on.
