You guys are something else....good eggs, as an old friend of mine used to say.
Forrest, LOL.....I know you think I am a critical, controlling lunatic, but really..it is not as bad as it sounds when it comes out of the keyboard. I have issues to deal with, but I have made a tremendous amount of improvement in these 2 short months. You would have had to see me in action to know how truly bad I was and how far I have come in this short time. I have no plans of going back. Whatever it takes I will do. I have never been so determined about anything in my life before, honestly.
Most of what comes out in my posts is venting, and it sounds like i want to have my cake and eat it too. Have the control and have her love me unconditionally. That is not the case....it is just frustration coming to the surface. I can't tell her how I feel, all I can do is show her. As you say, I need someone to talk this through and this site and you guys in particular has helped me get a lot off my chest. I read the words I type...the tales of my wrongdoings, and I know in my heart that is not the man i want to be ever again.
Thanks again, both of you. Hope you will stay with me. I will keep you posted.
...and a PS, in regard to my critical controlling nature, a couple of silly stories from last night for your amusement.
While she was cooking dinner, I sat with her, asked if she needed any help and chatted...no was the response.
It had got bad enough with us, that she pretty much never wanted me around when she was cooking because I was always telling how to do something or that she was doing it wrong. She asked me to sit with her and keep her company last night.
Not only did I not say a word, other than chatting of course....she made a wonderful dinner(I complemented her several times, sincerely), with no help from me at all....LOL. I thought about this after the fact, today while I was eating leftovers for lunch.
Then out for drive, she wises off to me about my driving. That was what I used to do to her, so last night she gave me the business every chance she got....slow down!...look out !!...jeez..you drive like a maniac...laughing about it.
