Most have chimed in here already... I'm sorry to be coming late to the party once again. (I brought drinks, does that help?)
You're lucky to be given such great advice, and most importantly, understanding. No where else but here do people understand these situations!
Quote:
How do you stand when you are divorced? I mean isn't this site called "divorce busting"? How do you build a friendship with someone who wants you out of their life? How do you reclaim your diginity when you been sushed away only to be replaced by a bimbo who has helped rob you of your family?
The first question--- well, since that's my sitch I will tackle it! I stand by not starting any new relationships, flirtations, etc. because I AM NOT DONE with this relationship yet...despite the papers. I stand by being a friend when my H needs one, and by not stressing when he doesn't. I stand by going on with my life and working to be a better me... if things do happen to work out with XH and I, well, we will have a better go of it, won't we?
Second- You build the friendship by being mindful of what he is ready for. This does not mean stopping your life for crumbs, or even being grateful for those! It does mean doing for him (listening, etc) BUT no more or no less than you would any other person. You don't go out of your way for him, yet you don't step over him while he is down.
Third- Why do YOU feel your dignity was stripped away? Who took it, Cagz? Really-- do you think people out there are thinking "Cagz must have really sucked as a wife for her H to have left....and now be with a younger girl...and have lost his job....and be suicidal...." Get what I am saying here? That's all on HIM, babe. Not you. This is NO REFLECTION on you. Yes, we all could have been better spouses. But, we all were willing to work on ourselves and the relationships rather than run away. If that is not dignity I don't know what is.
Just take a step back, Cagz. He needs to figure all of this out on his own.
