After my last post here, H told me he had a business trip to Colorado leading up to Memorial Day Weekend, that he was going to combine with seeing one of his oldest friends while he was there.
I ended up figuring out that OW was going to accompany him & asked him to skip coming over for dinner w/us the night b/f he left, that we would just see him when he came back.
He knew why I cancelled & left me a message that he had no choice but to "move thing's forward?." I just let him sit with it & made no contact during the trip, except to have S5 call him directly every other day. From the sound of his voice, I think it was an Ambien night all the way, wondering what he would find when he arrived home.
I went ahead with going to my S Daughter's graduation dinner on the day he came home & decided I would say/do nothing to indicate I was bothered by their trip, although I was going to maintain my distance, like he was an old friend. We had an excellent time....you would never have thought that we weren't a very happy couple.
He's been trying to re-establish our connection since then, w/out actually getting back together/breaking up w/OW. In fact, he pretends that he's not seeing her & I pretend (for the most part) to not notice his overnight bag/change of clothes in his car).
I went to a movie w/ him & S5 on Friday, since I'd turned him down on all the other invites, where he began picking on me to create distance.
Since it's his birthday tomorrow, I figured out that they have plans, & it wouldn't do for us to be really enjoying each other's company.
I called him the next morning & said if he wants me to join him on anything, he's going to have to treat me well. I won't have a repeat of Friday night. And if it's about his upcoming birthday, I had no intension of asking him to spend it with me, he can do what he likes, it makes no difference to me. Everything was said w/out emotion or fear.
So, I've been rewarded with a lot of "really, really nice H."
For his birthday tomorrow, the kids are giving him cards & gifts, just as last year, & there won't be any questions from me on his plans. Whew, this stuff can be painful, but it's the way it has to go. Fake it til you make it stuff.
