"I do believe that was my imagination. This just goes back to my being so insecure about this whole mess.....and greedy. I want it all...."
Well you posted this while I was posting.. man I wish I had read that first..
It is interesting to me that "You have it all".. yet you still want some more. I definitely think you are fighting yourself on this one..
You can't hold someone this close.. as you have found out.. it becomes smothering, constricting. Listen.. she does not make you.. YOU. She should make you better.. you should compliment each other.
Listen to what you are saying about yourself.. I don't know what you are fighting on the inside.. but now it is a little more clear to me. You really need to find something that will help you out of this serious need for control.. You really need to sit down and talk this thing out with "someone".
"If all she really wants to do is party every chance we get and let the truly important goals slide, then I have a bigger problem on my hands than I had imagined."
She has tried to work on the goals all along.. now all of a sudden you want to work on them. This is likely a really good diversion from the "normal" stuff.. for both of you.
"The beginning was hard, but as I "own" this personality again it becomes easier each day."
Don't take this wrong.. I really think you need some help with this. #1 It should not be that hard for you to "go back".. #2 It has to stick this time. Otherwise you will be back to your old ways. You have a source of motivation right now (She might be leaving) once that is gone.. your motivation will be too.
"and tell me your thoughts on why "This situation you are in could go bad quick"."
Lets just say she sees or feels something that motivates her to leave. I have to think.. we will be seeing some different style postings from you.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
