On The Rollercoaster Ride!

[addie]

Hi Nlt, I think you are right - that is a big part of why he is distant but there's more.

Yesterday H was very distant all day. He finished moving all of his stuff back here. I told him S and I were going to church. He said he wasn't going because he wanted to finish moving his things but then decided to go to church with us - he never used to miss church on Sundays.

Last night we talked about OR and how it ended (as per my request). He was very open about it.

Here is what he said about OW/OR:
-he feels he was used right from the beginning
-all she wanted was a very good evaluation from him to advance her career and when she got that she ended the R
-he wrote her evaluation but she had him rewrite it with her own version of what it should be
-she has now moved on with another guy
-he called her a slut
-she is EXTREMELY screwed up - parents divorced when she was young, mother is in a lesbian R and is an alcoholic, claims she was sexually abused, she was engaged last year, broke it off and the guy was suicidal
-such a screwed up life and she is only 25

H is very angry with himself for getting involved with someone like that - he knows that he's lost so much with S and I moving away soon. In fact after hearing all of this, I now feel a lot of anger that he would throw away our M for such a person. I have lost a lot of respect for him and I don't know how I'll get it back.
The other thing he said that really scares me is that he wants to get revenge for her using him. I have tried to talk some sense into him that she's not worth it at all. He's at a very low point right now. He kept asking me if I wanted revenge and I said definitely not - she is not worth it.
I can't believe all of this!!!