.after 20 years he did't want to..but she is worth it?
it's their twisted way of thinking caz, is not that you were not worth it, is that, as you said, the fun ride is over for her (he has no $) and he is desperate to loose miss dream boat, if she leaves it means he messed up, and he can't possible be wrong about her, what with leaving his family and all. It is not about her being worth more than you, it is his desperation at not being a failure yet again. As you pointed out, his life isn't going so well right now, and honestly, if a man regrets a suicide attempt that goes to show you he isn't right in the head. A real man all put together would've fought hard to retain his family, but he is barely half a man right now, he is lost to himself thus he is lost to all others around him.
A while ago we had a horrible exchange with stbx, mainly him telling me to rot in hell and F this and F that. I don't excuse this behavior at all, but it was a temper tantrum and in time he calmed down and gave a half apology. We are now in normal speaking terms. Mostly because I've stopped bringing up the past and ow. I gave up trying to "make him see" how terrible his choices have been and how wrong the ow is for him. As long as he's made his decision to live with her nobody is going to change his mind.
Don't go to his place anymore, dont' put yourself in that position. I know it hurts, for a while I felt like a punch in the stomach hit me whenever stbx would come to watch kids and I'd see her parking permit on his car. But since I've made peace for the most part, that that is the life he chose, he is with a low sick woman on his accord, then good riddance, I pity him. I still hurt now and then thinking about it but I've decided not to wallow in those negative thoughts.
Quote:
How do you reclaim your diginity when you been sushed away only to be replaced by a bimbo who has helped rob you of your family?
here are some answers "borrowed" from other posters
You drop all notions of how someone is supposed to act. You stop trying to control their actions through your own because you can't control them anyway and you just live your life and let them live theirs
OW is not a threat to me. She did not break up my marriage, home, and family. It was broken a long time before she came along.
...people tend to forget the bad and remember the good. Human nature is a bit like that. You go on holiday and have had a great time you tend to remember the two sunny days, forgetting the 5 rainy ones and the long queue at the airport … If you don’t already; try to journal what is going on, on a day to day basis. It is a great way to offload anxieties and worries and to see how your thoughts change over time. It is also good to look back on for patterns in your H behaviour and your own and see if you can see a cycle...
Give up ow. You have got to. She will eat you alive. Not physically, but your OBSESSION (yes, obsession) with her is going to destroy you. =================
As I was skimming over my old threads looking for a specific one (didnt' find it ) I realized how horrible the communication was between me and stbx, it was toxic! terrible, and I felt just you feel now. It doesn't have to be like that all the time and eventually it will get better as long as you dont' rehash the past with him or trying to make him see right. So, my advice to you is that for the time being, seeing that he is in such bad predicaments, to minimize contact with him, just talk about kids when you have to and that's all.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
) I realized how horrible the communication was between me and stbx, it was toxic! terrible, and I felt just you feel now. It doesn't have to be like that all the time and eventually it will get better as long as you dont' rehash the past with him or trying to make him see right. So, my advice to you is that for the time being, seeing that he is in such bad predicaments, to minimize contact with him, just talk about kids when you have to and that's all.