Thanks for the feedback. I imagine I would have laughed if D had said it. I don't want them to think I'm a saint (no worries there ), but I don't want to add anything to the fire so to speak either. It's one thing for me to say I'm upset as opposed to calling names.
I think he wants to help D's with their anger/emotions behind all of this, but I don't think he knows how. I also think that for him to talk to me about it brings up all kinds of emotions for him. So that leaves me in the trenches so to speak. Where I think things much worse than "idiot".
The C I spoke with last week said he will contact H (at some point) to go in and discuss D13. I commented that b/c we get along it might be good to go in and hear it together. The C's take is that even though we "get along" there might be tension and he thinks seperate would be better. Has anyone else had their kids see a C where you and your spouse talk with C sperately? How has that worked for you. In my mind, I feel like we should be able to talk about D's together, esp if there is a C there to guide the convo.
Ginger, Idiot. was that all? I know. It was not the best thing to say. You are human. You are not a robot. I am sure your girls know that you respect their dad very much.
You did not fall on your face.
Let it go, shake your had at it, keep on going.
You are a great mom. Don't let that litle mistake, keep you down lovey.
HUGS and have a great day
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
OK..... So this is a random comment.... And I honestly don't mean to offend. But I love the title of your thread. And every time I see it for some reason I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode, with the shrinkage. OK, said it was a random thought......
(((hugs)))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Thank you Lissie. I know I'm human, but I did like to dance to Mr. Roboto.
bnd
Random is such a good thing. I hadn't thought of the Seinfeld episode, but I wish I had. D's and I have a tendenacy to add "age" onto words.
Thanks for the hugs. You can never have to many.
I sent a text to H to see if he had talked with D13 yesterday after the meltdown. Of course he didn't. He said he didn't know if she wanted to talk or if whe was still upset. Well, exactly how does he think he'll know if he doesn't ask? Sigh. That is just so sad. I just responded that I thought she might have, but who knew and that I was hoping she would share some of this with him. It would be really nice if she could tell him even some of what she tells me. I hate having to see the pain on her face and knowing he doesn't have to. I am grateful though that she can share some of her feelings with me. One of the problems though is I can't really address some of this stuff. I listen and ask questions and throw out food for thought, but that never feels like it's helping enough.
Hey, Grace - I'm sorry, I'm not up to date, as I don't have time to go back and catch up. I think your H has moved out though - I hope you're doing okay.
A suggestion, if you haven't already read it - How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk. Excellent book, one I should re-read myself from time to time. Works well with adults, too
You can't hold up your H's end of the parenting job, all you can do is your best (which you are). Your kids know you are there for them and hopefully one day they will get to tell their father about the impact of his actions on them. The urge to protect our children is so strong and the task so impossible, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. You're doing great.
You can't hold up your H's end of the parenting job, all you can do is your best (which you are). Your kids know you are there for them and hopefully one day they will get to tell their father about the impact of his actions on them. The urge to protect our children is so strong and the task so impossible, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. You're doing great.
This is so true. Even when you are working together as a team, you each have our own ideas on how to parent...now factor in someone who is emotionally challenged...oy vey! IMO, you let your can let your H know your thoughts and you can even attempt C but ultimately you just have to let go and accept that you have no control over the way your H handles things with your D's.
That is a good book, I get lot's of ideas from it. Probably wouldn't hurt to re-read it.
I know that I have no control over how he parents and that's actually not so bad. He's always been a good Dad. The hardest part for D's seems to be that they've lost a connection with him. They don't know what or how to say things to him. It's just sad to watch. You're right that I do want to protect them from that and there is no way to do it.
Until this last Sunday I have had NC for several weeks. It does work well for me. At D13's request I was here, where I usually would not be. The next few weekends are busy, so I doubt I'll see him for awhile. I'm not aware of any effect it has on him, shocked or otherwise. He isn't the point of it though.
), but I don't want to add anything to the fire so to speak either. It's one thing for me to say I'm upset as opposed to calling names.