We are our biggest critics. I've come to realize that perfection is my perception and for me, many times, it's overkill. Working things to death does not necessarily mean it's better than it would have been if I'd done a good job and left it alone. My motivation is usually to please others, worried about what they'll think. I've lowered the bar a bit and, believe it or not, no one noticed. So, I'm beginning to set new standards for myself.
You are so on point with everything you've said.
I too have noticed that no one has noticed that I have lowered my own bar a little. It does help the people pleasing part of me when I received validation that my work is still good.
This whole taking almost a week off when I could least afford to do so was a huge step for me. And making it a priority to take care of me this past month - as in cooking and exercising was also a big step.
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If you're like me, I'll complete something then think about it again and rewrite or add more. This process may repeat a few times, in my usual anal retentive way. I'm so worried about being crystal clear about things.
I am the same way. Patent drafting is especially mentally exhausting to me b/c my standard is that a jury should be able to understand the technology I am writing about. And there are several parts that have to be consistent - so changing a word in one section sometimes involves changing things in 3-4 other sections. I have noticed that other people are not always as anal as me...
I didn't have time to do the multiple rewrites with the second patent. I barely finished drafting it in time to file it. It is probably better than good enough - but a part of me doesn't want to even look at it again.
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I'm not used to failing professionally. Personally, R's have never been my strong point. Guess that has caused me to be more forgiving of myself when I think about the M. I also learned so much about myself and my interaction with others through my M then through the D.
I feel like I sometimes set a lower bar when it comes to my personal R's compared to my professional R's. I think work sometimes emotionally exhausts me and I expect the personal R to not expect as much of me.
Once again - this may be all about setting the bar too high. At the height of The X's depression, I worked full time, cooked balanced dinners from scratch every day (he didn't eat leftovers, take out, or frozen), mowed the lawn - and at one point I actually got up at 5 am on a number of occasion to bake blueberry muffins - from scratch. I was very co-dependent and after he lost so many family members w/in a year. I use to think if I tried hard enough I could pull The X out of his depression - but I realized the hard way I had absolutely no control over his depression - it was all in his hands.
I have changed in that regard. I used to need people to need me to feel valued. Nowadays I prefer people that are centered, grounded and spiritually whole.
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Life is good. My yoga teacher announced that she's pregnant, so her prone floorwork will be limited. Although she plans to teach until her little boy decides to be a part of our world.
I was in a class once where a pregnant yoga teacher attended my class. She could still do poses including balancing ones - it was incredible - especially considering that her center of gravity was shifting.
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To continue the process I started at the beginning of the year, I am continuing to let go. Bringing peace to my world and trusting that peace will surround me. Trust. The first word I say in the morning and the last word I say before I sleep. Trust.
It is nice making it a goal isn't it. It sounds like you are like me - when you set a goal - you focus on getting there! LOL!
I find that you get back what you put out there. You sound much more centered. Good for you.
