Still in love with my waw....after divorce

[Bill_S]

Its been awhile since I posted. Not much has changed except that since being away from her I think I have a better perspective.

I came home with my son and hers one night. She was "away" with the om (the one who cheated on her) and I saw them come "home". They got out and it was rough for me. It still amazes me how you think your done, no more pain inside, and WHAM! Something triggers more. Its the first time i really hated her. But after it all poured out i realized it was a good thing. It helped clear out some buried emotion. Now I dont feel much of anything for her. I cant even remember being married. When I do feel something its irritation at her current childish attitude about life. Shes better but still selfish. Still expects her daughter (and me) to watch the youngest (10 and 12) overnight when she wants to spend the night at om's house....like tonight. I finally just point blank said "I dont love you. Im done. I dont want you back anymore. Im happy now and I dont care what you do, who you do it with or where. Just show me respect and let me know when you take off and I have the kids so I know when to have them back".

Om still comes over to sleep in what was my house, in what was my bed. But thats life. Hes 10 years younger and shes not that great. Besides hes already proven hes not the most trustworthy. Oh well. Her choice and her life. Im done picking up the pieces.

As for me I went out with friends for the first time in a year a week ago. Met a woman who works with exotic animals. I was a zoo keeper so we had a good talk. My friend said she kept staring which was nice. While I focused on her 2 woman came that were friends with my friends gf. Later one called to ask why I didnt talk to her. Ends up she wants to go out with me. And a few days before that another friend told me her friend(shes 24) said i was cute. I guess attitude is everything. I finally see there is life after divorce. I DONT need the ex. None of us do!! If they chose divorce or to walk out of our lives its THEIR problem. Even if we had our own issues which added to the problem. We DIDNT deserve it and we WILL survive and have lives far better than we would have otherwise. Sometimes we just lose sight of that because we are hurting. But God will give us more than we have lost. It just takes time.

As far as moving on guys.....give it time. Work thru the feelings. Give yourself time to heal. Let yourself feel whats there. Dont ignore it or bury it. And understand that every time she does "something"that hurts its just another chance to release some part of the pain and heal.

Bill