You said the right things. Of course, he is not going to make a decision right then, but he sure has a lot to think about. He sounded like he was a little pathetic at the end there.
And I hope he was wearing a cute, multicolor, low cut, tight fitting, half arm length, frilly cuffs and collar shirt!
Now that would be fitting.
Sorry, I just looked back and you said a tshirt. Oh, well.
Hope it said, "I'm with stupid."
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Haha! hopeful4her that was funny. No...it was just an Old Navy Flag shirt but I was looking for it to wear on Memorial Day and couldn't find it. And there he was wearing the darn thing. That would be because all of his clothes are in the garage, so I guess he took it upon himself to help himself to my closet and see what non girlie tshirts were in there.
He said that he would "sleep in the car" last night. Well if he did, he wasn't parked outside of the house or anything. I figured he would stay with OW again so that they could go to church together.
I don't think he is going to make a decision. I am going to have to go through with this divorce because I already layed that out there and can't back down. I think up until the end and beyond he will be undecided. It is really sad actually.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
You are amazing, girl. I know this is so hard. And eventually, maybe when its too late, he will completely regret this.
Don't let your dad get you down. You know who you married, you would never marry someone with bad character. Someone to be your lifetime spouse and possibly the father of your children. Your H changed, for whatever reason. If you have to, tell your father something like "I know this is hurting you too, but I know my H was a good man. He is lost now, and I have to move on. I realize that, but I would appreciate you not dragging our history through the mud"
I figured he would stay with OW again so that they could go to church together.
I don't think he is going to make a decision. I am going to have to go through with this divorce because I already layed that out there and can't back down. I think up until the end and beyond he will be undecided. It is really sad actually.
Okay, I know you've mentioned this before but the church with OW thing is just too weird, IMO.
Keep your boundaries - I know it's hard but you're doing good. And ditto what lwb wrote.
I figured he would stay with OW again so that they could go to church together.
I don't think he is going to make a decision. I am going to have to go through with this divorce because I already layed that out there and can't back down. I think up until the end and beyond he will be undecided. It is really sad actually.
Okay, I know you've mentioned this before but the church with OW thing is just too weird, IMO.
Yeah, what's up with that, Sara?? That's just BIZARRE.
I don't know what is up with that. I agree it isn't normal. I am just thankful that he doesn't bring her to our (my??) church. I think I would lose it if I had to see the two of them sitting there together. Actually I think I would get up and go find a different church.
Waaaaay early on in their "relationship" when it was just the beginning of the EA, he was telling me about her and how she doesn't know the Lord and he felt like God was calling him to have a friendship with her to lead her to Jesus. Even though my H was a minister and said stuff like that a lot, I knew something was strange about it back then. I guess he thinks that by having an affair with her, he can convert her. Who knows?
Speaking of church, I talked to my pastor today and am going to call him tomorrow to set up a time I can talk to him this week. (I hope that made sense). I really have some questions about the Bible and divorce that I want answered before I proceed with things. I think I know most of the answers already, but I want to hear it from someone who I trust to know. I really think that will help me gain peace in this situation and in what I need to do.
You know I honestly thought for awhile that I would get to this point and he would come back and work on things. I didn't think I was going to have to go through with it....
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I think that we ALL hope that they will snap out of it and we will not have to go through the D. Unfortantely, some take way too long and some dont at all. One of my close friends was telling me about her brother who threw away his M of 16 years for a younger woman. The OW got pregnant so they married right away. Three years later, he hates his life, cant trust his new W and feels sick that he left in the first place. So maybe they dont come back, but sometimes the greener grass they went to is really a patch of weeds. Your doing great and hold strong.
BTW, I'm from St. Louis as well. What part?
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I think that we ALL hope that they will snap out of it and we will not have to go through the D. Unfortantely, some take way too long and some dont at all. One of my close friends was telling me about her brother who threw away his M of 16 years for a younger woman. The OW got pregnant so they married right away. Three years later, he hates his life, cant trust his new W and feels sick that he left in the first place. So maybe they dont come back, but sometimes the greener grass they went to is really a patch of weeds. Your doing great and hold strong.
BTW, I'm from St. Louis as well. What part?
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Hi brokenhearted...I am actually in Illinois...in the town that has the gambling boat, antique shops and is home to the world's tallest man.
I will be going to the lawyer to have her start the paper work for the settlement sometime this week (once I talk to the pastor). I am scared. I have to give her a LOT of money (at least it is for me....$1,200) to write this up (then I won't owe her anything else). But if things change I can't get that money back. So if things are going to change, they better happen soon. I know losing money isn't a reason not to reconcile, but I will admit that it will be in my mind.
Don't know if H is coming home tonight to sleep. Don't care. If he walks in the front door, I will walk out the back.
When H came by yesterday he looked terrible. I think he has lost about 70 pounds since December. He could have stood to lost about 25 to begin with. He looks sickly. His eyes look sunken in. I worry about him.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
When H came by yesterday he looked terrible. I think he has lost about 70 pounds since December. He could have stood to lost about 25 to begin with. He looks sickly. His eyes look sunken in. I worry about him.
I remember looking at my husband one day and thinking if I didn't know him I'm think he was about 70 years old - he's 36 his skin and face lloked so bad and sunken. Can this really be what happiness is about???
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
