While I still don't feel I have a firm grasp on why a WAS thinks leaving is a solution.. I will say this.
The WAS is twisting and turning just as much as the LBS. They have all the same thoughts and feelings that we do. With women and possibly men WAS they have for so long pushed the feelings down inside.. that it becomes natural to seem like they don't "feel" anything. This is where I think the "Alien" talk comes from. I noticed fairly early on in my stitch that the "Alien" talk never seemed to have any real meaning.. its not something you would normally say in a conversation. I think this is why DB says to ignore it.. it has a second impact if you ignore it.. in that you don't get caught up in it. You don't let it bring you down.
Any WAS is looking for "something" better. They don't really know what but they are looking. You becoming more like you were can bring back those feelings the WAS once had. In doing that your chances of changing things dramatically increases. The trick to it all is to make that change permanent and not fall back into what you were. This is where the Mind of a Beginner comes from. You really are starting over to a point. You have to start from scratch and build "something". The big key in my mind is communication. You have to open the lines up so you can talk openly. The hard part is you are still fighting all the stuff the WAS is holding against you. You are the only one that is starting from scratch. You starting from scratch we will call.. True Giving.
You with me so far?
"Yesterday we had dinner with her relatives...a few beers, some good conversation......SHE texted me and asked if I wanted to go with her."
Ok.. so she is seeking you out.. this is a good thing. What you need to pay attention to is why she is doing this.. and what you are doing to encourage it.
".one of her family members commented about how good it was to have me along for a change....I was the old me...joking, making people laugh....I can be a clown when I want....W was actually giggling at me..LOL"
So you notice that she is paying attention to you. She can see you and at the same time she might be asking herself.. Why can't he be like this all the time. Remember you have let her down twice now.
"We were exhausted when we got home and she was quiet....went to bed before me. I let her have some space, but felt a little coldness.....just my imagination, I think, because she woke up this morning bright cheery."
Now you see where you felt that coldness.. this is what I was talking about the other day. Even something on your mind can show up where the other person feels it. This is what I think you are fighting a little bit. I really think she can sense the "Craziness" going on inside your head. (Don't be offended.. I use "Crazy" to describe a lot of things)
I think you are on the right track.. Something you are doing is working. You really need to look at what is working beyond.. partying. You need to look at your mannerisms, your thoughts, your speech.. when things are going well and when they are not. Then compare how you were in each situation. To be honest my gut tells me just keep doing what you are doing.. then there is this little part that says be careful. This situation you are in could go bad quick. Its just really hard to give any solid advice in this situation because it does not fit the "norm".
I mean lets look at it this way.. maybe you read DB and have implemented 100%. You are doing it flawlessly.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
