Oh the joy of being married to the swing shift. Often times, I'd have something planned, tell my husband all about it, then he falls asleep (deeply), and misses the whole thing.
I find it strange that she mentioned that she had a girl talk. It's almost like she put it out there so you'd ask about it. I'm glad you didn't. (Likely you didn't because you're a man, and men simply don't take HINTS. Even a hint in plain sight!)
Anyway, what happened with the house cleaning?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I took you advise and put it out there that I know she is realy busy and i actualy found some one who cleaned, and i mean REALY CLEANED, the 2 story house and sbasement with the carpets for only 140 dollers!!! she was very happy about the price. othert then that shes up north for her job soI'm kind of on float mode. I did call gher and asked if she needed any help moving her stuff on SAT and she said no that wasent problem. we had very light small talke and she was friendly. chalk one up for the Marcum man.
Just letting you know, Marcum - I'm still keeping up with your sitch. Sounds like you are doing OK.
Keep plugging away my friend!
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Well today the W called and told me she was sad. she was at a wedding and was wondering how we went from our wedding day to this. she told me since we broke up this has sucked. I reminded her thes was a seperation not a break up. a break up is a D. I told her I am here for her, to which she replied
" thats the problem you havent been."
Folks I have been are avalibla and helpfull as a human can be. I bit back any number of comments and just said thats something we need to work on for eachother. she said she dosent know how we got here.
I then told her this seperation can be looked at in a positive light it has given me a chanch to see what i can loos and also let me grow as a person. I also said it has hopefully let my W see the changes in me at a safe distance were changes can be noticed. she told me again she was sad and I told her not to be, that i belive in her. I then gave her a police order to go dance the funky chiken!!
I dont know how to say that as of right now she is still judgeing me by the past and not by the changes im doing. she has also been the one to put distance between us. yet she still can seem to see that. DBers of the world how to i communicate this, or do i even get to? the comment of the fact I havent been there for her just seems to show that all the work I'm doing isent even getting noticed.
I think your responses were good ones. This is where time and patience come into play. Plant the seeds and see if they grow, and you know they don't grow overnight. I think it's positive th she thought of you and called to tell you her sadness. It's a heck of lot better than her just continuing to walk away w/ no look back.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
she called me on saturday and asked if i could come help her parents and her move some stuff. I jumped at the chance for two reasons, one to show her i am thre for her and two... well i missed her.
I got there and was a moving fool. I even helped her taske the stuff she didnt want to a donation site. her mom and i hugged before her parents left and er mom eared up and tol me she loved me. I teared up and the W asked me why.
she called me on saturday and asked if i could come help her parents and her move some stuff. I jumped at the chance for two reasons, one to show her i am thre for her and two... well i missed her.
I got there and was a moving fool. I even helped her taske the stuff she didnt want to a donation site. her mom and i hugged before her parents left and er mom eared up and tol me she loved me. I teared up and the W asked me why.
she called me on saturday and asked if i could come help her parents and her move some stuff. I jumped at the chance for two reasons, one to show her i am thre for her and two... well i missed her.
I got there and was a moving fool. I even helped her taske the stuff she didnt want to a donation site. her mom and i hugged before her parents left and er mom eared up and tol me she loved me. I teared up and the W asked me why.
she called me on saturday and asked if i could come help her parents and her move some stuff. I jumped at the chance for two reasons, one to show her i am thre for her and two... well i missed her.
I got there and was a moving fool. I even helped her taske the stuff she didnt want to a donation site. her mom and i hugged before her parents left and er mom eared up and tol me she loved me. I teared up and the W asked me why.
