On The Rollercoaster Ride!

[addie]

Nlt, Kalni, Andabelle-thanks so much for your support.
Kalni, you're right. H has said ILY in so many other ways.

H has moved back. He was going to move back anyhow next week "for financial reasons" since S and I will be moving away soon. But he wanted to be here immediately.

He has also said:
-he's been very, very stupid
-if he could rewind back the clock to 6 months ago he would
-he takes responsibility for what happened but he also feels he was manipulated (by OW)
-he realizes S and I will be leaving for some time and he has no one to blame but himself-it will be very difficult for him but it's his own fault

What brought all of this on??? Just before he left for his business trip, we were discussing boundaries, no contact with OW H picked up the book "After the Affair" which was on my night table and said he's been reading some parts of the book and that it's very good. At that point I decided to give him a copy of the chapter on Infidelity from DR which I had copied beforehand and was trying to decide when to give it to him. He took it and didn't bring it up for a few days. Then on the day he returns, he says that he's read the chapter and now understands a lot of what we've both been going through. He says we have a lot of work ahead of us but we can get through it.

Yesterday we had a wonderful day together. We planted vegetables, went to the farmer's market and then in the afternoon the two of us went to a beer festival and had an awesome time. After the festival, he suggested we go for an ice cream and a walk by the lake. He was in a good mood the whole day.
By night time he was distant. I gave him a kiss and told him I had a really good day and he said nothing. I don't know what to make of that - the rollercoaster continues. I know there's a long way to go especially since we'll be living far apart for some time.