I have a tough time forgiving myself too... I just filed my last two patents from my "tummy ache nervous" list yesterday. And they were not "perfect." They were good enough - and they go the job done - but I don't feel the same sense of accomplishment b/c I know I "could have" - "should have" done my best...
We are our biggest critics. I've come to realize that perfection is my perception and for me, many times, it's overkill. Working things to death does not necessarily mean it's better than it would have been if I'd done a good job and left it alone. My motivation is usually to please others, worried about what they'll think. I've lowered the bar a bit and, believe it or not, no one noticed. So, I'm beginning to set new standards for myself.
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I think if I can get to accepting "being good enough" - I will be more forgiving of myself.
By who's standards? What are you measuring yourself against? Suggestion....accept being good, doing a good job. If you're like me, I'll complete something then think about it again and rewrite or add more. This process may repeat a few times, in my usual anal retentive way. I'm so worried about being crystal clear about things. In my personal life I've realized if I'm not crystal clear it encourages more interaction (gives people a chance to ask me questions!) or not.
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And of course when it comes to my failed M - well I still view it as a personal failure. I am not use to failing - and well that may be why my confidence is shot when it comes to non-platonic R's...
I'm not used to failing professionally. Personally, R's have never been my strong point. Guess that has caused me to be more forgiving of myself when I think about the M. I also learned so much about myself and my interaction with others through my M then through the D. And I like what I learned, wasn't always pretty, but I'm glad I learned these things. You are a wonderful, caring woman who works hard on every aspect of her life. From your writing I see you are letting go a bit, which is a very good thing. Let go and trust.
Life is good. My yoga teacher announced that she's pregnant, so her prone floorwork will be limited. Although she plans to teach until her little boy decides to be a part of our world. To continue the process I started at the beginning of the year, I am continuing to let go. Bringing peace to my world and trusting that peace will surround me. Trust. The first word I say in the morning and the last word I say before I sleep. Trust.
My yoga teacher announced that she's pregnant, so her prone floorwork will be limited. Although she plans to teach until her little boy decides to be a part of our world. To continue the process I started at the beginning of the year, I am continuing to let go. Bringing peace to my world and trusting that peace will surround me. Trust. The first word I say in the morning and the last word I say before I sleep. Trust.
