I went to the mayfest party alone yesterday. Everyone kept asking where my H was and saying "oh, I thought you guys were trying to work things out". I tried to explain to everyone that he is uncomfortable around certain people and didnt want to cause any fights. People were putting him down and I tried to defend him.
Later that night, as I was going to bed, My H text me, this was our conversation: H- "I dont know what to do" Me- "about what babe?" H- "are you mad at me" Me- "no, not at all, I understand why you didnt want to come to the party tonight, I miss you & we will make it through this, I have faith" H- "ok, if you have faith, so do I. I love you! relationships are difficult. This is going to be very hard". Me- "Anything worth achieving isnt going to be easy, I love you!" H- "I hear that" H- "are you home" Me- "Yeah, I went to my parents house and I am in bed" H- "thank you" H- " Do you realize that you dont trust me babe?" Me- "trust is earned, I need reassurances every now and then, I dont think that is too much to ask for". H- " I think your vibes the other night were way off, wasnt cool" Me- " I had every reason to think that you were rejecting me before we met up and talked, now I see differently"
He never said anything back to me. I went to sleep. When I got home today around 11:30 I text him, "hey do you want to still come over and hang out today as planned". It is now 3 hours later and I have not recieved any calls back.
I cant take his rejection any more I am so scared. My sister in law is coming over now to console me because I am just so damn hurt by him again. I am freaking out. I want this to work, but he is still an alien to me. He has become such an alcoholic, it just keeps clouding his judgement. How do I go through this all again, HOW??? TIPPER
