ahhh i see well i text her asking for permission to go into her house and get my stuff she replied an hour later yes i put thanks she put i'm so sorry she is done with me, and that's fine i replied i would believe that if you were actually spending time alone call me when you are ready to stop lying and want to make things right, i pray it's soon because i am concerned about you. goodbye f
well, i hope it's worth it for her
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
Don't you think you're being a little harsh with the lying comment. If you really want this to possibly reconcile, you have to provide a path for her to be able to come back. The venom you are spewing is not going to help. Think about how you felt when your XW was spewing venom at you. Be the better person Rich.
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
b, I've been following your thread this weekend and I'm truly sorry that things have transpired to the level that they have. Yes, she's betrayed your love, kindness and trust, but be thankful that what happened, happened prior to a marriage taking place. She may be conflicted about how she feels and is running for that last one hurrah, then again, maybe she's been seeing this person for a while and didn't know how to tell you what was going on. It could be that the email you discovered was not accidental. We just don't know.
What I am truly sorry about is how your children loved this woman and had welcomed her into their hearts and home. Now, a second person has left them in a short period of time. Maybe it's time to step back from all of this and put the focus back on you and your children for a while. Maybe it's time to spend some really good quality alone time w/yourself and rediscover who you are and what you want to do w/your life. Sometimes, when we regroup, God does put the right person in your path that will be there for you and your children through thick and thin. This may not be the "keeper" that he had in mind for you and your family. Cut your losses, pick up your belongings and let her go.
When you do pick up your belongings, go there and get them and leave the hurt and pain at the door. You have too much respect and dignity to lower yourself to the level of continuing the conversation w/her. Step back, take some time away from the situation and cool off. We say things in the heat of the moment that we can't take back and it's too late when that happens. There may come a time when the two of you can sit down and discuss the situation, that is if you still want to. Leave the door ajar, don't slam it shut.
B, you are a good person and I would hate to see this incident make you bitter. Let her and the situation go for now. I'm so very sorry this happened, but there is a reason it did and one we are not aware of, but it will reveal itself in the days to come.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
For what it's worth, I echo what others have said. You are allowing your pain and hurt to be communicated to her in your words.
You are, in short, burning bridges. When we first come here, knowing nothing about DB'ing, having improved nothing about ourselves, burning bridges with our words happens alot.
You've been through this before. You succeeded, even though your marriage did not. You became the better person.
Yet you're making all the same "rookie" mistakes that we all made when we first came her.
You talk to much. You focus too much on the "love" and "relationship" and "fiancee." You ask for validation of her feelings towards you.
When you get answers that don't match the tone you are hoping for (expectations) you lash out with passive aggressive tones, hoping to shame her for what she's done.
As Snodderly said, you do not keep smooth the path back to you with such words and tones.
I am terribly sorry that you've had to experience this. And I'm sad for your boys.
But you are a better man now.
As Amy said, time to "man up."
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
this time it's different. i'm okay. i am clear. i am angry, but 100 times stronger than i was with the D. my problem is that 80% of people say she is coming back sooner rather than later, that she is just scared. i don' tunderstand how, but that's what they say. i see it as her blowing me off and hooking up with another dude that she sees greener pastures with, and that if that's who she truly is, then why would i want her
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
Remember all of the thoughts that danced through your head when dealing with your XW. I sure do remember all of the things I "made up". It dominated my life. All of it was negative. I learned to not let those thoughts rule my life. You are letting this happen to you now. She has said she is sorry many times to you. Just accept it, get your stuff and be with your kids. Do not pour salt into her wounds as well as your own.
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
