I guess I saw that holding on (or in my case...clinging on) wasn't doing any good for anyone. It was causing H to run harder and faster, to be meaner, and to just be ice cold with me. As if to say "Darnit, LWB, get the point!". Holding on for me was causing me so much pain, so much 'rethinking'...maybe I *am* that horrible person. Letting go has sooo many benefits, but I found it only comes on its own. I never outright tried to let go, it just happened.
I have found a good mediator and H is agreeable to whatever. We haven't gotten anything past that. But that is a good idea about having a 'once over'. Thanks gyspy.
