Tonight I am going to go out to dinner with a couple of friends and then out to see Sex in the City.
YAY!
The movie theatre here last night, was CRAZY. The line was out the door. So many of the ladies went dressed up, and had on the best shoes. The bar next door had Cosmos for half price.
GO and have fun babes.
Put all his crappola behind you and enjoy yourself.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
There were some beautiful parts in it and scenes that reminded me about my H and I. But it was still FABulous!
We went out to dinner and had a couple of Cosmos before the movie. NO talk about anything that pertained to H and I.
My brother watched the boys for me.
When I got home there were messages on the phone from JA (he's been upgraded again) saying to the boys "where are you? You should be in bed, it's after 9pm."
Give me a break. It's a Saturday night and I highly doubt he has them in bed by 9pm when he has them.
Oh well, I'll just save them and record them just in case.
Mrs. H, I'm glad you went out and had a good time. You need this every now and then. It's good that you left JA and the situation at home for a change too. Your boys were well taken care of and I bet they enjoyed their time w/their uncle.
Now, about that phone call, it's a control factor that he's using by calling at that time of night. Besides, if they are suppose to be home in bed at that time, then why is he calling? Sounds to me like he's checking up on you and is using the boys as an excuse. Check it off your list and continue moving forward. He better get use to you having a life and find something better to do w/his time when the boys aren't w/him. Let him sit in the dark and worry for a change.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Besides, if they are suppose to be home in bed at that time, then why is he calling? Sounds to me like he's checking up on you and is using the boys as an excuse
Exactly!
So no 2x4's please...
This morning I had S7 call his father back.
I went in the other room and picked up the other phone to listen in.
S7 seems very down lately and I wanted to know if JA was telling him anything.
JA asks S7 a lot of questions like "where were you last night? Coming home after 9:30pm is kind of late, don't you think? Don't you think you should be home sleeping? What did you do at your cousin's house? Did you have fun? Did you play outside? Why not? Did s3 have fun? What did you do there? What are you going to do today? Is S3 awake? Is Mommy awake? Did you eat breakfast?"
Then he also told him that he misses them and can't wait to see them about 10 times.
He also said to S7 "I'm trying to make it where I am able to see you boys on Monday as well as on Wednesdays. This way I get to see you more and we have more boys only days."
Then he also says, "Maybe I will come up tomorrow (Monday) and see you but you can't tell anyone. It's a secret. I'll just make pretend I was in the neighborhood and dropped in to see you but make sure you don't tell anyone. Maybe I will do it on Tuesday too."
I don't remember what else was said at the moment.
When I went back downstairs and S7 was getting off the phone I said to him "what day is your Dad planning on seeing you this week?"
S7 said "Ummmmm......I don't know, Wednesday I guess."
I could tell S7 was lying for JA.
I dropped the subject.
I am not happy that JA is having s7 lie for him. This isn't right.
I sure hope he doesn't get awarded Monday nights too. Especially during the school year it doesn't give S7 any other free night if he sees him on Monday because he has religion classes on Tuesday, he sees his father on Wednesdays and has art class on Thursday.
Mrs. H, I suspected all along that he was pumping the children for information. It's any wonder your son is down lately. Your h is using him for information and putting him in a very difficult spot. Shame on him for doing this to your son! It's too bad you weren't recording this particular conversation.
Are you sure he didn't hear you pick up the phone? He may have been telling S7 this crap just to see if you would speak up. He's really a paranoid man and will try anything to get you to take the bait. Do you have any errand running to do tomorrow night? What about Tuesday night? I think it's time that you and the boys go to the park for a little bit and enjoy the beauty of God's work and get some much needed fresh air.
If JA should show up, do not let on to him that you knew about the conversation w/your son. I think it's time your JA realize that you aren't the civic center for meeting up and realize that his visitation schedule is what he needs to adhere to. I can't help but wonder where the Ho is in all of this.
No 2 X 4's on you, but I sure would like to use one on him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It's too bad you weren't recording this particular conversation.
In NY state you can't use recorded conversations unless you are part of the party.
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Are you sure he didn't hear you pick up the phone?
Positive because I actually picked it up while the phone was still ringing on his end.
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Do you have any errand running to do tomorrow night? What about Tuesday night? I think it's time that you and the boys go to the park for a little bit and enjoy the beauty of God's work and get some much needed fresh air.
This was suggested by the L I was going to retain. She said until things are in writing just don't be home so he can't see them. But that just sucks because then I feel like I always have to be chased out of my own home.
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I can't help but wonder where the Ho is in all of this.
I know right? How come all of a sudden he has all this free time to come and see the boys? I know they are still together, so I don't get it.
No 2 X 4's on you, but I sure would like to use one on him.
I agree! You listened in not because of H, but to protect your son. All bets are off when it comes to the kiddos.
Shame Shame Shame on him for making your S keep secrets and pumping him for information. That's horrible.
What are your plans if he shows up? I suppose until there is the official D/visitation, you could act surprised, welcome him and then say "Great, see you later!" and get outta there for some time for yourself. Reminding him verbally or email that this isn't a good idea will go in one crazy ear and out the other.
I agree! You listened in not because of H, but to protect your son.
That's exactly why I did it. I don't care to eve's drop on H, I just want to know what is going on with my son.
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Does he have ANY idea about this website?
Nope, nada.
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What are your plans if he shows up? I suppose until there is the official D/visitation, you could act surprised, welcome him and then say "Great, see you later!" and get outta there for some time for yourself
I'm just afraid that this would backfire on me too. Making him look like the more responsible parent, you know?
Mrs. H, I know it sucks, but until you get the visitation dates/times in place, you may have to do something different. This dropping in whenever "He" feels like it has to stop. You are not the maid and/or babysitter for him. At this time, the house in your domain and he should be respectful in the fact that you require your privacy just as much as he's got his at the pirate's bat cave. He doesn't have a clue as to whether you have plans w/the boys, nor does he care that it's a week/school night. He's just being disrespectful all of the way around and yes, he's a bully to the highest degree.
He's not only manipulating you, but he's doing the same thing to his child. This is not good. I can't help but wonder if this is what happened to him as a child.
I think this free time is to set you up so that he can find out everything you are or are not doing to use in court. The ow is most likely just a companion to him and is listening to all of his plotting.
I know you feel like you are being chased out of your home, but for a while, it's best that you either have friends over, children are out on play dates w/their friends or you are out of pocket. He needs to learn respect, boundaries and above all else, how to play w/others in the sand box.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
