OK, I think I am getting it. If I had sent the email, even though I would have felt impowered for the moment, he would not have believed the WORDS because my ACTIONS are still reaching out to him. Nothing would be different. But, if I do the NC, really do the NC until HE reaches out to me, then that is different and showing him that I am moving on. Plus, the NC really is good for me because it helps to break the constant wondering about him because I am not allowing myself to know.
Is this right?
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Not to mention, he isn't ready or willing to hear any words from you anyway. It won't feel good to you for long. There will be a time for your to be heard, but its not now.
Thank you everyone who knock the 2x4 against my head. I really needed it. This journey has been so hard, as we all know. The mornings are the worst. That first moment when you wake up and then the pain comes rushing in. I keep wondering when the weight that sits on my chest will go away, but I know it takes time and it is getting slightly lighter each day.
I am so glad I found this site. there is so much negativity in my life right now, this has becomes a place of comfort and incouragment for me. You all are giving me strength and you will never know how grateful for that I am.
Thank you for the wonderful advise.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Hey, I just had a thought: I'm thinking about writing the "next" weightloss craze book. I'm going to call it The Divorce Diet. Millions have tried it and succeeded, so I know I cant go wrong. Heck, I've already lost 45lbs on it. First step, S say ILYBNILY. Second step, find out S is having an affair. Third step, stop eating because the stress is so high that you already feel full of anxiety and sadness and fear. Oh wait, I've giving my idea away.
Has anyone else succeeded on this diet.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I lost 45 pounds too on the Divorce Diet! What kind of commercials do you think would go for that book though, I think it would be a hard sell??? Karen
Not at all, some big flashing words, the before and after models, and BAM! I'm rich. See people dont look to closely at what it really means, they just want to feel good now. Isnt that what are WAS are doing? I think we have plenty of practice dealing with people who only want to make themselves feel good RIGHT NOW, so marketing should be a snap.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Here's the best part of the diet for the LBS (funny how I'm talking about weightloss and the abbreviation for us is pounds) we get to look great! This is one satisfaction that I am at least getting, I am looking just as good now as when we first got married. He probably cant see that right now because of his fog, but one day when he wakes up he is going to see what he has been missing. At least that is what I tell myself to feel better.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
This is one satisfaction that I am at least getting, I am looking just as good now as when we first got married. He probably cant see that right now because of his fog, but one day when he wakes up he is going to see what he has been missing. At least that is what I tell myself to feel better.
That's so true! I'm about the same weight I was when we first met/started dating. And I've done a lot of exercise too, so I do probably look about the same (except for a couple gray hairs)! Don't you think our H's notice though? One of my friends, a guy, (I was dressed in a really tight dress with sequins that day for a play I don't go around like that usually) said H had to have noticed, even though he pretended not to!!! I hope they do notice, and are going crazy!!! Karen
I think that they don’t want to acknowledge it because then, in some sick twisted universe, they are betraying the OW. They have to keep thinking that the OW is better than us otherwise their fantasy starts to slip away.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I had lost some weight on the divorce diet, but now I am doing the opposite. The my husband is no longer here and I am going to eat junk...diet. Not recommended, but it is fun. Ordered a pizza tonight just for myself. Yum yum. And I didn't eat the whole thing! LOL
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Karen