IMHO, it sounds like your W is still a bit in WA-mode (hopefully on the tail-end). She's staying out late, doing stuff with 20-something, telling you you're controlling, not examining your needs (for you and as a couple). I imagine the best thing you can do right now is expect nothing, do that 180 you're talking about, and don't bring up the sex thing. It's likely perceived as pressure...
I know it bites...especially when one has a libido like yours. I'm the same way, frankly, and have a difficult time waiting two days in between. So, I fully understand you're "pressure," so to speak.
Maybe try and take it down a notch, Lee, and see what happens. Good luck.
