Yep, my W also was a "sexual camel" but we talked constantly about everything. It's that solid friendship that I valued and she didn't. As Nietzsche wrote, "When entering a marriage, one should ask the question: do you think you will be able to have good conversations with this woman right into old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time in interaction is spent in conversation."
So I've done 2 revealing snoops - one at her journal from 9 years ago and the other with her email to her mother. In the journal, she'd broken up with me but kept thinking about me constantly. Over and over she wrote that I'd know what to say in some situation and that grew and grew until she found herself wanting to be with me again.
In the email, she is now admitting she misses our conversations but she's still at the point of saying it's only talking and that isn't something that sustains a R. You know, because R should be naturally self-sustaining without requiring any work or involvement on the part of both partners, right? Sheesh! Anyway, I can't help but think that she's starting the same slide into loneliness. I know I am.
Man, I hate being open to her, though. This is what drives me crazy about DR. Part of me says "Be the friend and she'll snap out of it" but the other part says "Cut her off and find someone who'll be as supportive of you as you are of her."
