He left then Cheated ---Now What???

[Florie]

I have had several lapses in judgement with dramatic emails, conversations etc. so don't feel bad. I try to question and re-question myself before doing those things, it's just that sane me doesn't always win out :o) The good news is you can always do things differently when you have what you later feel was a slip ups (I know I have changed things up many times!)

I try to think how he sees things (which given what I like to refer to as his temporary insanity is easier said than done!).
Anyway, I read somewhere that as long as they are still getting the emails etc., they have not lost you. You are being forced to get over losing him but for him he knows he still has you and has not lost you at all. Once you take away the reassurances (in the form of emails etc.), and only then can he start questioning that...wondering what you are doing, wondering if you still care about him etc. Our problem is that there is a part of us that wonders if he will wonder or care or will he just enjoy his freedom. I am so hurt by my H's OW/MLC/etc. that I don't even know how we would begin to work on us at this point, so I decided that letting him go was really the only option. He can have what he wants and figure out if it is truly what makes him happy or not and he can wonder about me because I am not reporting anything back. It is hard when something happens that I would usually tell him right away, but I am keeping it to myself. He is acting in a way so as not to give me any hope and I can do the same, because honestly I don't know at this point if there would be any hope for him with me even if he ook it all back today. It has let me do a little better with the focusing on me and trying to get on with it. Sorry for the rambling and good luck!