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I've just hit the 2.5yr mark. There is no sign of H coming out of his MLC. We have yet to go through the D process although financials will be settled very soon (I hope).

Think I got myself a non returner.


Me 43
XH 45
M 2.7.88
Divorce 7.10.09
Kids D20,S17 & D15
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ACJ, I have just replied to you on your thread, I too am at that stage of thinking I have got myself a non returner, I dont think it could happen now, although I could be friends with him, I only hope he splits up from the ow who he married and grows up and has a relationship with his only child.

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Breton,

I also want to say that during this divorce filing/process expect them to lie like crazy. You will hear things that you can't believe. During my trial my ex said things that were totally ridiculous.......

ACJ and Mandyloo,

Thanks for stopping by my thread. Sometimes MLC is long sometimes short. Never give up hope for your spouses. Many have remarried and returned.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Hey Trusting, you said 18 month mark..of the day he left??? I am a little confused.

That happens at times.

Oh, we are in the divorce process and H and i are far worse than we have ever been. We do not even talk. h says he just can't put any emotions in it. He treats me as if I am doing him so wrong for fighting for my rights.

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Kiki,

I'm sorry I should have made that more clear. 18 months ago, I found out that H and OW made their EA go to PA. That is when I kicked him out of the house. He was in process of taking out all the equity in our home so I filed for divorce 3 days after that to save my financial status. (our assets were than frozen) Prior to that time he had been spending like crazy anyway.

My ex treated me like I was doing him so wrong. He called me money hungry, etc... They get terrible during this process. I did not even recognize my ex.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Posts: 4,071
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Trusting,
H is paranoid, is what I am seeing.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Mine was too. It was painful to watch. He viewed me as a total and complete enemy. I think if he could have gotten away with it he would have killed me.

Unresolved anger and pain in his childhood.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,666
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Trusting - during/after your journey did you ever do the stupid stuff?


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Of course I did stupid stuff. In the beginning I pleaded with him to work on our marriage. He was as cold as ice.

Right before the divorce was final, I told him I wanted our relationship back and asked him to cancel the divorce.

I tried hugging him a couple of times, once he was responsive, the others he was repulsed by me.

There are many many more. Lately, I have detached more so I don't do many stupid things. The more you understand the process the better you do. The bottom line is THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT WILL MAKE THEM SEE THE LIGHT. They have to find their own light. Let go, let God.....


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,666
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trusting -- i must say -- I love you my friend!!! Thank you tahnk you for being so very very real!!


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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