Today is the first day I've cried in so long. Not bad, just a few tears. I'm pretty sure PMS has something to do with it. I just feel a little lonely for my marriage. It's so empty. Blech.
I was reading another thread, the one asking what rejection will make you do... she basically assumed their marriage had a non-verbal agreement to exist without a sexual relationship and she thought they were both fine with it. Anyway, the husband had an affair, but now he wants to work on the marriage. The wife is very angry and having a hard time forgiving, etc. I don't think the affair was justified, but I can understand why it happened. Six years in a sex starved marriage... I can't even imagine. I haven't even been married that long. ANYWAY, the whole thing got me thinking and analyzing.
I've always TRIED really hard to be a good wife. Home cooked meals every night. Lots of head and back massages, lots of praise, lots of EFFORT put in to my marriage. Am I so inadequate that it's not really worth trying to save us? It's frustrating to try to articulate what I'm feeling. My words do not flow effortlessly. Ack. Trust me, I know I haven't been perfect. I've made many mistakes. TONS and tons of mistakes. But I've really tried to be a great wife.
I gotta get in the shower. I'll check in with everyone later. Hope you all have a happy day.
Sending warm thoughts your way. You sound like a total sweetie, & he's a fool if he doesn't appreciate you. Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
