It sounds as though your emotional experience took quite a toll on your W to the point that she felt responsible for making you happy and when she found out that she couldn't then she felt like a failure. Maybe when she realizes that our happiness does not depend on another person, but upon ourselves, then she can start to deal with it better.
She is showing you some positive signs with the hugging,etc., unless she is considering that showing a good "friendship" R. But, you have from now to August to show her that your changes are going to stick. And they must stick and they must be for you. Some H's have done this and said it was for them and for life, but then as soon as the W came back.....they stopped with the changes and fell back into the old habits. This is what your W fears. I don't know what all happened and you don't have to go into it b/c I know it's personal, but maybe it frightened her somewhat....to the point she can't handle that again. You said you were very insecure and clingy. For most women, that is an automatic turn-off, so I'm surpirsed she stayed with you as long as she did.
As she see how strong you've become and that you are going to be okay and continue to be well......then she will probably come around, even if she still files for D, she could come around later. So, your part now is not to panic and to keep showing her how attractive you are. Show her all the qualities that will make her fall in love with you all over again. Maybe it would help if she would talk to your doctor so she would be reassured.
Keep posting and take good care of yourself.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
