Your wife, to me, is acting like a woman who realizes she may have lost them BOTH.
She seems totally overwhelmed, and wracked with guilt, and probably seething underneath at what she would say is your "saintliness."
To me (and this is just a guess), it's over with OM, but not by her doing. She's acting just like a wayward spouse who's been DUMPED by their paramour, and now doesn't know how to find their way back to their marriage, or if she even wants to.
