Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Whew, Creed. I have three times already...your words. They are really helping. I'll get my words together and reply.

My resentment comes and goes...it's back right now becasue of how he hurt me, in a calculated way, on my birthday.

If he wants me to make it easy for him to at the very least, be with the kids, why would he treat me in such a disrespectful and hurtful way?

Sometimes, my brain tells me he must be hurting really bad himself to hurt me that way.

Other times my brain tells me he thinks very little of me.

It's a battle.

I am a forgiving person...but, he really doesn't want me to forgive him for anything....now. If the word forgive comes up, he recoils because if there were things to forgive, then he would have done something wrong. He can't admit any wrong doing unprovoked....yet.

I do believe his actions are much, much more about him than me or our marriage. It's just hard to hold on to that sometimes. I come here now, I don't go to him.

I think I've worn a couple of my face 2 face friend out!!

It feels like I'm giving an ultimatum at the mention of mediation, legal...anything legal. So, I guess I 'just do it'...and don't just say it.

Gotta think some more about your words.....