Help! New to this...still hoping for R

[Rusty]

Well, I'm sure I really blew it yesterday! I've been thinking about this for the past day and can't believe how i could backslide so badly. At a big event I put on a week ago, my H showed up and flirted with two friends of mine who's D's play lacrosse with our D. Then I find out yesterday that on his night with D they attended an awards ceremony at school and H again flirted and pursued the one friend. (Both are divorced). I just lost it and called him and told him to stay away from my friends. That they thought he was pathetic and were not interested in him and to find his own friends at the sleezy bars he hangs out at. It, of course, escalated into a full blown screaming match and I ended up hanging up on him. Last night my D was at his house and we had a terrible storm, tornado, etc., so I called to make sure they were okay and we spoke civilly but I had been doing so good - being pleasant and acting "as if" and then my jealousy took over. This is so incredibly hard! I bought DR today - had already read DB - hopefully that will help me!