Quoting grislen:Im now thinking though that I cant keep being there for her when ever she feels that she needs to freak out and be different. Pull away from me and supposedly be herself. Now I basically let her do her own thing. I have come to the conclusion that she has to learn these things for herself.
Your W and my W seem to be on the same mission Lee.
For my W, it's the fact that she is looking for a part of herself that was lost years ago. My W has had to be a responsible parent and W since she was 19-20 years old. She's now trying to recapture those years, but without all the responsibilities that go along with being a parent and W. Once my W is able to experience those years, and enjoy the "thrills" of being "21", she'll be ready to continue on as an adult. My W keeps thanking me for my patience and understanding, as we both know this will take some time. My W still doesn't wear her wedding ring, so I know she's not yet ready to be a W again. It doesn't bother me in least as I know in my heart that "our day" will come.
Lee, I feel that you and I are lucky that our W's are having an "affair with themselves" rather than an OM. It still hurts, but in the end, I truly believe our Ws will return to us with a feeling that they are a whole person. Only then will they be able to grow with us without ever looking back again.
As for "The Five Love Languages", I do my best not to "force" anything on my W. Once my W decided she wanted to get back with me and we started to spend time together, all I did was tell my W that I appreciated the fact that she was "filling my love tank". She looked sort of puzzled as she asked what I was talking about. I explained the 5 different love languages to her and she wanted to learn more. My W asked me if she could borrow my copy, and now says it's one of the best reads she's ever come across.
- Mark
What goes around, comes around.
My sitch: "Third time's a charm?"
