Well, just for fun I found out yesterday morning that my H has been having yet another online affair for 'a few months', whatever that means. I snooped, knowing I was going to find something, I think.
I handled it pretty well, I think. Calmly, anyway, although I haven't been able to stop crying since he left for work. We had a pretty good conversation, in which he told me again that he likes me, loves me, but isn't in love with me, and has again been considering leaving - for about the same amount of time he's has his little friend on the side.
I haven't, and hope I won't, made any demands that he stop. That's going to be a big struggle for me, but I'm really going to try. I'm going to ask him to stop thinking about whether he loves me and to spend more time thinking about how he feels about himself. I very much opened my hand and let him go - I told him that I wanted him to be happy and if he needed to leave for that happen, then he should go. As far as I know, he hasn't made a final decision to go, but could any day, I guess.
I just finished reading When Things Fall Apart (I think it was LightSeeker who suggest it, thanks), and have started Happiness, also suggested by someone on this board. I've been trying the 'thinking' and 'opinion' practices, and they have been helpful, and were especially helpful in keeping me calm this morning.
I guess I need to move off Piecing and to ? Infidelity? That hardly even seems to be an issue right now. Perhaps I've gotten used to it, I don't know, but that's not really the thing that making me cry - it's that I thought we were making some progress, but instead, we're almost back where we started. MLC again? I have no idea. Is there a forum called 'completely f-d up'?
