Lee - Have you read the Five Love Languages by Chapman? This would be a good book to discuss with your W. She doesn;t even have to read it, you can explain the concepts and read her excerpts. My H's big language is quality time, and I used to see that as "needy" because it's not high on my list. Now I see it as just his language.
From your conversations, sounds like maybe HER languages are words of affirmation and act of service (telling her you love her, and maintaining the family through your job). And yours is obviously physical touch (mine too!). Reading this book with her might help you to see how better to meet her needs, and might help her understand how to meet your. It might also help if you can clarify to her that your desire for touch (hugs, handholding, etc.) is not always a demand for sex.
As for the baby thing - tread lightly. I totally understand your hesitancy. But be careful not to seem as if you are rejecting the idea, or her. Just try to put in the nicest possible terms that you really want that too, but want your R to be stronger first so that this baby will be assured of a loving two-parent home.
