Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Hi Breton..

"Bottom line is that our H's have lots of growing up to do. I blame myself partly. "

It does seem like my H is living/treating us like he is somewhere between MY brother and the teenage brother of our kids.

I too am partly to blame...for the things that led to him crossing the line into his A.

I was enjoying reconnecting and being his friend for the last two montsh, but when he blantently disprected everything about me and my feelings by plotting to ignore Mother's Day and my birthday...I just can't be friendly when someone will deliberately hurt me like that. I have come a long way in how I live my own life, and how I respect his...and I was not to blame for him snubbing me on my birthday.

I haven't heard from him since May 15th when I told him he really hurt me. He doesn't apologize but he says 'I didn't mean to.... WTF?

I don't know if he is off thinking about where he is headed, how he is living, numbing with work and alcohol or if I'm going to get 'attacked' from behind with D papers.

My H, and his parents, avoid confrontation at all costs. Our problems stemmed from that, communication and I had no idea the extent of his unhappiness before the A began.

H had asked me if I was happy....I was struggling with things, probably my own MLC...but I wasn't so unhappy to hurt his feelings by saying I wasn't when I knew my blues were not becasue of him. I said I was happy....and he throws that in my face every time it comes up that he walked out. He is angry with me for being happy in our marriage! He has wanted me to agree that we failed...that we just didn't work out. I don't agree, and he gets mad and shuts down.

Maybe, I should agree next time????You think?