Hey BF, I think Frank is spot on here. Let it be, if she wants to talk she will talk and you know that. No pressure, no questions because, you want to know. The door is open,she is aware of that now, let her choose to walk through it.
think the other dude is in the pic? usually when they need space they put you on the back burner to see how it's gonna work with someone else.... usually when there is someone else, you don't know, and she told me right away. based on those 2 things, and how quick this went, she first got distant 2 or 3 days ago. i can't look at it skepticly.... i have to take it at face value, which is so hard for me. heart says she is coming back, head says i need to go get my $#!t and tell her to leave me alone and have fun with her space. i will post an updat as to how i am doing with this, tonight, i have a 4 year old with a stubbed toe
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
At that point the tone was needy and a bit desperate.
And I'm sure the conversation was so NOT what you wanted to have.
But that whole end of the conversation did not come across as good to me.
Maybe it's pre-wedding jitters.
Maybe she caught an interest in this other guy, felt bad about it, then wondered why she should feel bad about it.
Time and space.
Remaining her friend. Not, as Frank or another pointed out, the guy who is going to rip himself from her life supposedly to "give her space" but in her mind because you feel scorned and left behind.
All the DB'ing type stuff applies here.
Don't let your emotions override your common sense. You are skilled in this area, use them.
Best wishes,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
frank said that taking the book shelves would be pulling out of her life. then told me to wait. thank you for your advice though, i agree though needy was how it came across, it wasn't my intention. time will tell
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
You have helped me pursue my next career as Award show hostess.
You my friend, did it the right way.
You have respected yourself, and most importantly your children. You have even respected their mother at times where I thought I was going to have a seizure b/c I wanted to beat her ring her neck.
You and those boys are lucky to have one another.
Now a beautiful lady, gets to be part of that wonderful family.
Love it
Congratulations Tiger.
I am sooo happy for you brother.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
BF, the lingering affects of the downfall of our marriages and the insecurity that it has embedded into us is amazing.
IMHO, you have to find your confidence again and believe in the "Us" factor. If the two of you are meant to be then you will,if you are not then you won't. Simple as that.
That whole conversation sent red flags up all over the place that you still have work to do on yourself and your feelings. The responses that you gave her were not those of a confident man secure in his relationship. They were filled with fear and insecurity.
You do not know the reasons for her fears, you don't know why she needs space, and you don't know what she is going to do. Trying to figure out the answers to these things is difficult and you guessing those reasons make it even harder.
Maybe you simply need to have a little Blind Faith that everything will be ok.
