Is it wrong to WANT to feel some assurance from her? I am NOT pushing and I am NOT pursuing...
I absolutely do NOT think it's wrong to WANT some assurance. But let's face it, if you ask her, you already know what she'll say. So what else is there? To me, you keep working at this better you, you strive for consistency in the new you, you continue to show how much you value her.....and, unfortunately, you do that with no real way of knowing if her intentions are changing.
I'll say this about what FG said, the fact that she has changed her mind twice before indicates, TO ME, that she held on strongly to the hope of a better relationship between the two of you for quite some time.
You may now be dealing with a woman who, INTERNALLY, has chastised herself into making the break, realizing that she has backed out of leaving twice before. And really, any time you've given someone MORE than one chance and the let you down, don't you dig your heels in a bit more on the next chance?
It's not a great situation for the one who has some making up to do. From my view you have to find a way to be comfortable in that uncomfortable position of loving a person knowing that they may choose to make the break at some point.
Really NDS, what is the loss? If you are truly treating her NOW the way you know you should have always treated her, there WILL be a positive payoff regardless. I know, the thought of divorce is incredibly devastating. But being on the divorced side of things, there is definitely something to be said for having made positive changes in ME that led to a peaceful and amiable post-divorce relationship with my ex.
I'm sure your wife is not perfect. I'm sure she has had some issues that weren't the greatest all the time. But I'm guessing that her "problems" were more of the little imperfection variety that our love is usually more than able to overcome.
I still see this situation as strongly positive right now.
Maybe it's up to you to move to the next stage. To move both of you back a bit towards normalcy, and show your wife that life will be good and rewarding there also.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
