Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Hi Bill,

I see you are in Indiana...I have relatives in Evansville.

I have become the most comforatable, on a day to day basis, with no contact. He doesn't try to see his kids or anything...and it is easier emotionally on the kids and I than riding his roller coaster and seeing him only when he feels like it.

I only know now what to do that works best, not what I want, but what works best for the kids sanity and mine.

I have no clue of anything different to do where H is concerned, other than file something....financial arrangments where I have control of the money coming this way....or divorce. Right now, I would be a greedy divorce pursuer...yikes. He robbed nearly everything from me and if he is intent to be as it is, thinking he has become a better person....I have a different attitude about someone like that.

Divorce right now for me raises too much anger and I have to put that on the back burner.

How CAN they stand not seeing their children's faces every day? My kids are gorgeous, smart, funny .... and all that.

Maybe they make him feel too inferior?

Does the money your kids get from mom come voluntarilly?

" It seems as though he's only comfortable in social situations like sports events. Those are well defined in terms of time and length, and maybe he is more comfortable knowing that he can come and go. I do agree that after this long, it's time for a change."


I think you are right about the limited time of events. He seems to get antsy.

And change,...well, he's diappeared so I guess I don't have to do too much, huh? I already don't call, seek him out, email, text...anything. Haven't for months. It seems that makes him mad, but if I call, he usually doesn't answer...and has about 3 lines why like 'the phone is in the truck', ' the battery is dead', 'I left it on my desk'.

I don't call him for emergencies, I make all decisions about the house, school, kids....everything. I don't consult at all. I used to, he didn't really say anything. I used to go over problems with the kids and grades, or discipline things like when the boys tried to light gasoline trails on fire and almost burned their bodies!!! I tell him the stories, he listens, and that's that. It made me mad that he would do nothing...as if he lived on the other side of the continent and couldn't do anything. Is that why your W lives 500 miles away?

thanks for listening...take care.