I agree. They don't have a clue what they want. They think they will be happy if they can turn their world upside down so they can "feel alive".
Like H told me recently, "I keep returning to what I was running away from". Apparently the excitement (feeling alive) with OW fizzled out and reality began to sink in. He tried to make himself believe for a long time that he was happy with his new life, but now readily admits that he's not.
My H feels lots of remorse. I think he (and lots of others like him) kick themselves every day for their bad decisions, but don't come back because they feel overwhelmed with the guilt of what they have done and don't feel worthy to be home again.
