Hi, I did not read all the posts, but I did read your opening story. I would like to reply to something you said.

"She is and will never be a cheater. I know her too well and when she tells me that is not what this is all about, I believe her."

My H thought the very same thing. He was so shocked that it almost threw him into a heart attack.....literally. So, don't kid yourself. However, I don't know that she is having an A....I'm just saying not to be so sure...ever....that a woman would not do that when her needs go unmet for a long time.

In short, from reading what little I have about your stitch, it sounds as though she is holding the "walking away" as a tool to get what she wants. To still be a party girl at her age sounds very immature to me, but you have apparently gone along with it and she likes it......so why should she leave?

I think you may have been a bit hard on yourself and not hard enough on her in your story. Somebody had to be the grown-up in the M. Why do you think she has such a need for a party lifestyle all the time? If you were to cut that off.......you feel that she would be ready to leave, right? That takes me back to what I said....she is using the "threat" to leave as her tool to get what she wants, just like a little girl.

You said it yourself......how long can you keep this party lifestyle going? At some point in an adult's life, they need to grow up. How does she interact with the 18 year old daughter? By that, I mean does she act more like her sister or another teenager, or does she truly act like her parent? Just wondering if she is in MLC. But, if she has always been this way.......may be hard to tell. How does she dress, etc? Does she dress sexy and act flirtatious when she is out at parties? Does she do things to make you jealous? Have you seen any changes in any of that since all of this talk of leaving has started?

Well, keep posting. Try to find the forum where you feel you need to stay for a while, so we can keep up with you.

Take care.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!