Worse before Better?

[Bworl]

It seems to me that you're stuck in a fairly predictable pattern.

One of the principles that gets talked about with DB'ing is to do things that work, and to not do things that don't work.

I mentioned earlier considering some type of official separation (believe you said it would have to be a trial divorce or some such thing) with the thought that perhaps SOME action would provoke a change one way or the other.

Of course that change could be that he agrees and chooses to officially divorce. And that raises the whole issue of support and alimony, etc.

I can't explain why he is ok with being apart from his kids. Perhaps guilt, perhaps selfishness, maybe a combination of the two. It seems as though he's only comfortable in social situations like sports events. Those are well defined in terms of time and length, and maybe he is more comfortable knowing that he can come and go. I do agree that after this long, it's time for a change.

You've been left holding all the responsibility. I understand. I'm doing much the same here with my 16 year old and my 21 year old who lives on his own but still needs a parent around. Their mother is 500 miles away and her contribution is about $450 of child support each month and a one or two day visit about every 2-3 months. How can you walk away from your kids like that?

I've decided it's part of the psychosis of this thing.

And there's nothing I can do about it except the best I can do.


Blessings,

Bill