Yeah, now that I got it all out, I have no desire to have contact with him. I don't mean like...EVER...just no burning desire to check on him or anything like that. Not checking email or voice mail for him or anything. I'm good. :-)
I'm not getting the vibe that the OW is still in the picture but don't know how much to trust in that. Usually I can feel when someone else is in my "space". I just have the feeling that that relationship didn't pan out or something.
Started going to a new therapist and really like her. Had an appt yesterday. I told her about the book and how excited I was to be owning up to my part in things. She cautioned me to not let him off the hook or take the blame for everything and that he was still guilty of the crap he's done. So, after I got done, I was feeling a little more grounded, so to speak.
My "homework" for this week from her is to get outside as much as possible, get around other people with good PMA, walk, exercise, etc. She also encouraged me to look for a water aerobics class because of my fibromyalgia and carpal tunnel syndrome. This past week, I spent a lot of time outside, hanging out with friends, etc. Made a HUGE difference in my own outlook.
One dilemma I was just talking to my friend about, which is probably me thinking way too far ahead, but if we DO get back together, then I'd have to move to GA where he is PCSing. I had already decided that the best thing was to stay here so that my S16 could finish high school in the same school. He's doing well in the academy he's in and I don't want to mess it up. He already told me that if I moved to GA, he wouldn't go with me but would move back home to live with his dad. His dad and I have joint custody so S16 could do that but the school there is poor quality.
And here's the other thing that bothers me....I prayed about whether or not(when it looked like there was no hope of reconciliation)
