Wish I could read her mind>>>>

[Forrest Gump]

NDSM---

What can you tells us about what your WIFE thinks about some of these things?

sg

Great question. I would like to hear that answer also.

To me.. and my strange point of view.. My big question becomes..

What keeps pulling you away from being the happy go lucky guy?

or

Why are you so critical of everything she does?

She is NOT doing that.

She is LOVING their interactions.

Because he is being fun. Non-critical. Happy. Delighting in her.

All of these things are good.

And I don't see NDS suffering for any of this.


Yes, he would like some positive feedback right now. Frankly, I don't think he deserves to even ask for it right now. Maybe in a few more months. Maybe when things settle down a bit for them and life returns a bit to normal.

Right now his role should be to provide and serve. He must PROVE that he is really changing this time.


Bill

I think the key is the last statement in that. He must not only prove it.. he must keep doing it.. forever. To me the things they are doing.. are not going to last. Yes they are going out having fun.. and she seems receptive of it.. but from my point of view.. I am asking myself why does NDSMHELP.. need any help. Most LBS would kill for a fraction of what he has right now. Heck most of them would be moving to piecing already. Its a odd situation. What concerns me is that NDSMHELP is still floundering around somewhat. So much so.. it has peaked my interest once or twice. Now when people post here there is usually emotion tied to it. To me T.. is not really confused.. he is almost being critical of why she is not leaving. I have to expect this shows up in real life. Thats why I think she does all these things then kinda "feels guilty" or "gets his hopes up".

I hope that came out as understandable.

So on that note..

While I think things are OK for the time.. I question how long they will last. Really there is no forward movement to this situation. There is some ground work done.. but I just can't see where things are going to change for the better. Once life starts to settle..

I agree that he needs to "make up" for what he has done.. make a lifelong change.

Someone suggested counseling for T.. I agree with that. Individual Counseling. Not because you seem off or anything.. I think C could help with your "criticalness".

There is a fine line between "Princess" and "Being a Good Husband". I am inclined to side with Puppy a bit.. that you may be falling towards "Princess". You really have to be careful here.. especially because you are a "critical" person. My idea on it is you need to do enough.. to bring out the qualities you want to see in her. The idea.. is that you compliment one another.. the way you are brings her up.. that in turn brings you up. Just like the bad stuff.. good stuff keeps compounding on itself. I myself am more of a believer in the Love vs Respect thing. The more you love her.. the more she respects you.