Ok, so we have had a not so good turn of events yesterday with my Situation: 1) Last night my H and I were supposed to meet up to watch a band play and I got no call, and when I called him he was already there with his buddies. So I went and hung out with my friends and he said he didnt wanted to come see them all. 2) Then while we were watching the bands, my H text me and said he cant make it to the big "Mayfest" party tommorow. 3) I text him back and said "ok, I am sensing your vibes and I am just going to go home tonight instead of staying at your place". 4) when the bands were done, he called me and asked to see me, & I was walking towards my car to go home. He met me and we argued. 5) He was wasted and couldnt understand that I was feeling rejected and dissed by him. 6)H says he doestnt want to go to this stuff because my big brother will be there (and they hate each other) and he doesnt want to get into a fight with him. 7)My H says that his new bestfriend ran into my brother the night before and my bro was wearing one of my H's roofing t-shirts and talking crap about him all night and to his best friend. Now my H is infuriated and says he doesnt know how we are going to ever work out our R when I am always taking my bro's side. 8)I told my H that I am not taking my bro's side, he is blood and I love him. my Brother can be the biggest jerk and I know it. But I dont want him to keep driving a wedge between us and we need to look for solutions instead of avoiding or fighting each other. 9) I left to go home alone and H went back to the bars (I am sure).
This was a pretty bad argument that we had. My H put down all my friends and family and kept telling me that himself and his new friends are the most important things to him. He tried to blame me for leaving him all 3 times that he packed his bags and left me this last year. He threatened over and over that he was going to kill my brother, and he was so drunk that he was kicking and punching the siding on his apartment. I kept telling him I didnt want to fight because he was drunk so I wanted to just go home that night, and he kept saying "sure leave me again, like you have already 3 times". Finally I got sick of it and left. He gave me a nice text on my way home and then asked me to call him.
I got home and called him and I said I understand that you dont want to go to mayfest or anything that my Brother is at, but I was just feeling rejected and scared that you didnt want to be with me. I said lets just meet up on sunday and do our own things tommorow. H started to try and fight again, and I said I was tired and finally he let me go. I said I love you, and he said it back to me.
IDK what to do anymore. My H is a huge alcoholic and even though he wants to be with me, he wants his bachelor lifestyle too. He wants to go do everything with his new friends and I am starting to feel like a third wheel. Now he has huge issues with my Bro and things are getting worse. I love my H, but I am not liking very much what he has turned into. He puts me and everyone else down all the time. He keeps being really selfish and he just doesnt see situations the same way the rest of the world seems to see things. I dont want to end things, but I also dont know how to go through this MLC with him. So many things are upsetting me. I am trying to not be too selfish and not control him. But I get hurt when he breaks our plans and talks so badly about everyone.
I dont know what kinds of solutions to this there could be. He hates my Bro and my bro hates him. They will kill each other if they are around each other. HELP!
