Frank does give great advice. PhoenixDeaux (aka JustMe) also has given me great advice also.
The way things have been going, you could be described as a man on a string. You, just as I was, are like a yoyo.
Your W has crossed too many moral lines. You have to give up hope that she will someday snap out of it. RTL, you can do so much better than her. There are women out there (as in these forums) that respect their man and dont walk away when the going gets tough. Move on with the D and get it behind you. Trust you L who has seen this stuff for many years.