Real life...part 3

[girlfromipanema]

((((Sara))))

Just hoping you had a nice day.

[Starshyne]

Don't worry about the hi-jacking. I seem to do that to Jeff's posts a lot.

I haven't heard from H in days. I am actually happy about that. The more I don't talk to him, the more I am ready to go ahead with the divorce and move on. It is when he talks to me that I get all confused. I am still staying over at my house until 10pm and then sleeping at my mom and dad's. It is a pain because at times I can see that my H has not slept at the house. I hate that because that meant that I could have slept in my own bed and be happier with my things around me instead of with my parents.

I hope to talk to H this weekend at some point. I will give him the one more chance and have several things in mind that he would have to do in order to make things work. My gut says that we won't even get to the point where I will outline those things, but here they are.

1. End ALL contact with the OW. Never see her or talk to her again.

2. Change his cell phone number and I will change mine. He will delete all of his information from his phone and start from scratch.

3. Get full STD testing

4. He will need to go to IC. I would like MC down the road, but right now he has a lot of issues that need to be dealt with and he needs to get into IC.

5. Doing things that make me be able to begin trusting him. Tell me everywhere he is going, etc.

I gotta go!

Sara

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sara,

That's a good list! If those are YOUR dealbreakers, then I'd encourage you not to budget on them one iota.

I hope your weekend goes well, and I'm glad you're finally getting some peace.

Puppy

[karen43]

Sounds great to me, too!!! You sound like you are doing well; I am so glad!!! I have always thought that your R would work out at some point, so hopefully your H will get it together enough to realize he needs to dump the OW now!!! Karen

[girlfromipanema]

I agree with Karen and Puppy. You sound strong today.

Sending you happy thoughts.

[Starshyne]

My Dad so made me mad yesterday. Here I am trying my best to be strong and everything and he has no idea what I am feeling. He told me that he thinks that H didn't change, but the this is how he always has been and was just fooling me for the past 7 years. This is his real self and I was a bad judge of character. He said that we all make mistakes and unfortunately I made a big one and have to pay the price. My Lord it hurts to hear that. I mean is that what people are thinking about me? That I made a bad character choice? I swear the man I married was kind and good and I really don't think he had me fooled for 7 years. How could my Dad say such hurtful things to me?

I tmed H yeterday saying that I wanted the house tonight. He tmed me today saying "the house is yours. I will be there 11pm." That isn't what I want. I haven't been sleeping well and I want to be in my house and my bed. I am so sick of this junk. He said we could get together and talk today, but I don't see any signs of him doing that. I think I am just going to go and start the paperwork for the divorce on Monday with or without talking to him. I have hit my breaking point.

Sara

[hopeful4her]

Sorry your feeling bad. Your dad just sound like a normal controling dad. Pointing out our flaws. I would take too much of it to heart.

Did you end up leaving like normal or did you stay home?

We all have our breaking point. Maybe you just need a day to think again.

But, you do have to protect yourself. His back and forth talk sounds like a bunch of hooey. He was telling lies when he was back in the house. What is stopping him from lying to you now?

[Starshyne]

H's paycheck came in the mail today. I had called his boss and told about the affair a few weeks ago and asked that his checks no longer come to the house. So I called H's cell phone and left a message saying that his paycheck was here and he needs t come get it before I throw it away (wouldn't do that, but it sure was tempting).

So about an hour later H shows up. By the way, he was wearing one of my tshirts. That was a little strange. I asked him if we could talk or if he was busy. He said he could talk if I made it quick. So standing in the doorway I told him about the lawyer and the settlement (without giving away the amount or the details). He said that he thought divorces took a long time. I explained how ours could be done over the summer because we don't have very much property and no kids. I told him that I wanted to give him one more chance before I go to the lawyer this week to make up his mind and leave the OW for good. He said that he was going to need to think about it. Used the excuse of his school and work and stuff. I told him that I knew all that but if he can't decide then that tells me that he is going to stay with the OW. I then said that there was plenty of men out there that deserve me and I am ready to move on. He looked so sad when I said those things.

He said something about how hard all of this was and I sais, yes I know...this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And then I closed the door and he got into his car and left.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Starshyne, I'm proud of you. That's a classy, graceful way to handle a very tough situation. Let him chew on it for a couple of days!!

PUppy

[girlfromipanema]

Sara,

You keep impressing me with how you're handling every thing.

I'm sorry your dad made you so upset. I'm sure it hurts your dad terribly to see you in so much pain and he is re-writing your husband's life story for you... he probably wants to do really bad things to your h right about now.

My greatest hope is that your h can get his head screwed on straight and things can start moving in a positive direction for you.