Although we never got D'd we did come within days of it...and filed a second time before we reconciled...
My H had to hit bottom...the only way I got him help was when he got stinking drunk and depressed...I called 911 and had him taken to a hospital and the doctors and nurses talked to him...it took a bit to sink in...but he did go for help...not a counselor or psychologist...but an actual psychiatrist who could prescribe meds...then refer him to a psychologist...
I am happy to report now that my H is doing very well...he still battles the depression but he talks to me...he is willing to go in for help when he needs it...he knows what it feels like to feel happy and have meds that work and what it feels like when they don't...he knows it is up to him to take care of his mental and physical health...he will call the doctor when he needs to...he talks to me also...
Sometimes reaching out at the low point you can grab their hand...but I would caution about trying to do "too much" for them...then you start stepping into a "mommy" role and that is not good...
It is a hard balance...encouraging relaxed family time is really good...expressing concern but not focusing too much on it...find what works...
