I am so frustrated with some of the things in my sitch. I really dont see W at all. From Sunday to thursday night. She has been very cuddly when she gets home from work and such. So tonight when we are in bed I wake myself up and im trying to iniate intimacy after a bit I get turned down completely. This frustrastes me so much. I see old patterns trying to come back an im trying to fight them off. Trying to act as if. Most of all it just brings back the thought that im working so hard and to be turned down hurts so much. Its like she is saying I dont love you just go to sleep stop touching me that repluses(sp) me. With my brain I know that is probably not it but with my heart that is the way that it feels. I dont know maybe Im moving to fast, or expecting to much but I try and give her what she needs out of this R but it doesnt seem to help with what I need. Anyway Just needed to get that off my chest.
