If it helps you feel better and heal, it's a good thing.
Yes you definitely deserve a little meleancholy. We oftentimes go into our marriages (particularly these first marriages) with this idealism and trust and it's very sad how it gets stompped on, and shattered. I know I've personally struggled with this....
I remember one of my friends saying that during her divorce she saw a young woman being fitted at a store for her wedding gown and she wanted to shout, "It's a sham!!! In 20 years he's going to leave you for his secretary!"
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
