Is He Really Happier?

[Florie]

I have read posts for a while now and thought I would start my own to get some feedback from others on this board. Reading this back, it is a little robotic, but I kind of feel robotic at this point :o)

Summer 07 I sense we are in a rut. I am not miserable but he seems depressed a lot. I express my desire to have a baby and things cool way off. I figure he is just not ready and go back on the pill. In October of 07 H acts depressed and tells me he went on a date while I was on travel. On this date he tried to kiss her and she told him she didn't want to see him again since he was married. After this he tells me he doesn't think he wants to be married anymore. The woman was out of sight out of mind and after weeks of DBing and him going on short getaway alone he begins to come around. We never really discuss but things continue to get MUCH better until spring.

I sense him in his funk again after a work function and approach him about it. He admits he talked for hours to female coworker (younger woman, athletic and different than the woman I mentioned before)and really likes her and can't stop thinking about her. A week later he comes home late at night and admits he was with her and wants to end it so he can pursue her because she is interested too. She had a boyfriend at this time but I assume she broke up with him. I am devastated. Within weeks he has talked to a realtor about selling house (we can't afford it) and he plans to move out while still helping me with bills and house chores and watching our dog if needed until we can sell the house (probably a few years based on what the realtor said). He has stayed out all night at her place several times, has gone out drinking and hanging out with friends more in a month than in the entire time we have been together and seems absolutely convinced that she is the most amazing person ever and that he wants out of being 'trapped' in our marraige ASAP. He tells me it isn't my fault and it is him and how he is sorry but wants a divorce. I can tell he feels guilty and can't stand it when I cry. Says it isn't fair to stay with me with his mind 'wandering' to other women. The fact that he isn't being mean makes me wonder if he really is happier and will never miss me.

Although he is courteous in passing and so am I, he seems so done. I am trying to get on with it and doing my own things (yoga, hanging out with friends, running etc.) He doesn't seem to miss me in the least. No emails, calls, texts, notes. Nothing except to discuss him finding his own place or our mediation (pre-divorce) appointment. I think I am past the point of DBing. Just going as dark as possible for my own sanity. I know I will get through it but just so hard. We never fought or were horribly unhappy and have had some great times even recently before all this came up. It has been 3 weeks and all seems surreal and happening so fast. Has she won him over that quickly that he doesn't even have a minute second thought?

Is there anything left to do or do I just accept it? Could it be early MLC or is he just going to be happier with OW?